OH MY GOD IT’S SO DARK I CAN’T SEE ANYTHING AT ALL although in fairness I suppose I’ve seen worse “darkness” in games.Įach level is actually split into multiple separate “scenes” this is just the first bit, and it ends with Kick-Ass rescuing Dr. Bonus points go to the finishing move that took place despite Kick-Ass and his target being a good couple of metres away from each other. I can’t blame it for that, but it’s not particularly helpful. One kick to the head will suffice, instead of an elongated animation of Kick-Ass unconvincingly punching them in the face, and then unconvincingly kicking them in the head, and then unconvincingly breaking their arm.Īlso also, everybody appears to be clipping through everything and the camera enjoys looking at everything except the action.
It’s basically a slow-paced version of any given Batman: Arkham game’s combat, only without anything that even looks like depth.Īlso, some of the finishing moves take a full 10 seconds to perform and provide no noticeable benefit, so I’ve very quickly learned that whatever button appears above a weakened enemy is the button I do not want to press. The controls are kind of sluggish and enemies take quite a lot of hitting before they finally go down, but it’s not too horrible. My mission, should I choose to accept it, is to walk a linear path and punch everyone who gets in my way. This screenshot makes me laugh, every single time. Apparently I can also use the left bumper to disarm enemies once my combo multiplier is high enough, and I can tap the triggers to, uh… fry myself with a taser? Which apparently boosts my attack power through the magic of electricity? I didn’t realise Kick-Ass had actual superpowers, but there you go. I’m using a gamepad because I refuse to play a third-person brawler with mouse and keyboard, so this at least means that the controls are fairly self-explanatory. It’s a really apt way to begin.Īfter that brief hilarity, we’re into the game. I’ve embedded it above, so you can judge for yourself. I’m not great with accents, so I might be wrong! I’m fairly certain that’s not a typical accent for a blonde, white, New York resident, though.
It’s all narrated by Kick-Ass himself, who sounds like he has a heavy Spanish accent. Text that looks like someone put it there using MSPaint.
Okay, so the intro sequence is a series of still panels (just like a comic book!) with far-too-large speech bubbles that dwarf the minuscule amount of text inside. Journey with me now into the heart of darkness as I go through Kick-Ass 2, from start to finish.įirst thoughts: “hahahaha what”. I did actually enjoy the first five minutes, but that’s mostly because I was laughing at the voice acting. I’m not that kind, so I’m just going to say that it’s irritating, buggy, unpolished, dull, uninspired, and a wholly unpleasant experience from about five minutes in to its ultimate close. You could be kind and say that it’s a nostalgic trip back to the days when film tie-in games were cheap, barely playable cash-ins. I suppose we should start with the obvious: Kick-Ass 2 is terrible. I TOOK this screenshot and I have no idea what’s going on.